By Karin Quirk, Esq. - So you are contemplating getting a divorce and you want to do it without lawyer involvement. I am amused that people will rely on internet sites about divorce getting information from people without legal training, often in another state, rather than get competent professional advice.
The paperwork is complex, could be overwhelming and you are taking an important step that has legal consequences that could affect you years later. You probably have more productive ways to spend your time than getting your legal education at a time they are experiencing emotional distress. There is no need to be “penny wise and pound foolish” when there are so many choices depending on your situation.

Full disclosure here – I am a lawyer and I do earn my living helping people dissolve their marriages. My objective is to empower couples to dissolve their marriage in a respectful cooperative way while still preserving their privacy. I do not charge according to how big the assets are. My fees are based upon the complexity of the issues and the parties’ ability to be involved in the resolution of those issues.

There are several options for working with a lawyer, depending on your situation.

Short term marriage, no kids, no property

A lawyer can help you avoid getting bogged down in the paper process. You bring all your information to the lawyer to draft the documents for you. The lawyer will streamline the process and make sure you don’t inadvertently put more information in the public record than you need to and a lawyer can ease the process of the final hearing in a minimum amount of time in a more private setting.

Kids and property but no issues, everyone is in agreement

Even though you are in complete agreement there may be important issues you overlooked or were not even aware of. Missing them now could lead to problems years later. Problems may arise in the way a retirement account was handled, a property was transferred, or the way the parenting plan or child support order was written.

A problem sometimes arising years later can be that one of the spouses has second thoughts and wants to overturn the decree. If the decree is carefully drafted and the parties are well informed this is less likely to happen.

By getting the assistance of a lawyer you can be sure that all the issues are addressed and the documents are properly drafted. A lawyer cannot represent both parties but you can discuss options in which the matter can be handled in a cooperative manner and most efficiently and economically.

An attorney can help you and your spouse resolve various issues such as the parenting plan for your children, support, and property division. Your spouse always has the option of having the agreements reviewed by his/her own counsel on consultation only basis. Your attorney can then prepare all the legal documents and complete your divorce -- often at a flat fee that is far less than either party would spend on hiring a lawyer to go to court.

Complex issues, little agreement, but you really want to avoid the “divorce wars”.

A fairly new concept, collaborative law, is gaining momentum across the country and has been featured on television and in such publications as Money Magazine. In this model, both parties engage a lawyer but everyone agrees they will not go to court. This way both parties have an advocate to represent their interests but do so in a collaborative rather than adversarial manner. Other experts are can be brought in such as financial advisors, business valuation experts, and mental health professionals. Everyone works as a team to get the best outcome possible.

Couples engaging in a collaborative law divorce spend probably one-third as much on legal fees as conventional divorce. Another benefit is that once they reach resolution, they probably will not have ongoing battles over child custody and support as flexibility and problem solving is built into the process.

When seeking a divorce through collaborative law, it is important that both parties find lawyers who are trained in this process. An attorney trained in collaborative law can provide a list of other trained attorneys who can represent the other party. Here in the Seattle area you can find a list of attorneys trained in collaborative law at www.respectfuldivorce.org .

Domestic violence, substance abuse or the other spouse is an emotional bully

Many attorneys who practice mediation or collaborative law can provide vigorous advocacy but will be less likely to fan the flames and make the situation even more heated. Collaborative law attorneys are trained to recognize such issues and deal with them appropriately.

A consultation, often at no charge, will help you determine which option is best for you.

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Karin Quirk is a family law attorney trained in divorce mediation and collaborative law. For more information see www.karinquirk.com Karin can also be reached at Karin@karinquirk.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it or 425 289 0293 for a complimentary consultation.