Submitted by celticpride77 on Fri, 06/20/2008 - 08:10.
while its important to jump back in remember to do it feet first this time. Don't assume because the new girl is so much better that's the girl you want. I really reccomend dating more than one woman for awhile. At least long enough to witness how they act during that first special fight that should give you all the clues you need.
Good point, if you find yourself in a position to get back in the game, try to spread yourself around a little bit. Might be tough to find the perfect one after one date, and you definitely will see that all women are different if you go out with a few of them. See how they handle adversity...they all are emotional time bombs, but some a lot worse than others. Sometimes circumstances don't allow it, e.g., when your friends know your single, they have a tendency to set you up with single women they know. Going out with numerous other chicks after they set you up with that "great girl" could cause problems. Be smart whatever you do.
As far as rebounding, it depends how long you've been out of the game. Since this is a divorce site, it can be assumed that some of the guys here have been on the shelf for a while. In order to get the confidence back, get out there and do whatever you can with whoever you can. Even if she's not a "long-termer", she's still good for practice. You have to take a couple of practice swings, don't waste them on the keepers. The good thing is that there are so many more venues out there to meet people, primarily through the net, that didn't exist even a few years ago, so rebounding is far easier than before. You're own personal experiences and issues may still be an issue, but the dating scene doesn't have to be. Sites like this one definitely help. It's good to have a sounding board to see what other people go through.
What you say is true, Steven, there are so many more ways now to meet women than there used to be. You don't have to torture yourself in a bar, at the supermarket, or all the other cliche places anymore. There are so many places on the net, some of which are even linked on this site, where you can meet women. Some of them, like Ashley Madison, are like cheater sites, where you are likely to find sexual hookups. Some of the other ones, like E-Harmony, are geared more towards "normal", or at least more traditional type companions. But you can sit and browse from the comfort of home until you find one you are interested in. Granted, there are some psychos out there of both sexes, but overall, any woman on one of those sites is looking to meet someone, or she wouldn't be on it. So all the pressure isn't on you. Divorce sucks, I know that all too well, but life afterwards doesn't have to.
After the breakup of my ten year marriage I mourned for about a month and then got right back into the dating scene. Luckily I have a few single friends around my age who I started bouncing with. First they took me to pick up bars which basically led to a series of one night stands. The one nighters are good for your confidence you can have some fun without dealing with the complications of a relationship. I did this for about a year and then began to go on real dates with women I thought were relationship material. I've met a few very nice girls and continue to date although nothing serious has developed. I'm generally happy now and hope eventually to meet someone in a steady relationship. Life does go on after divorce and there are many women out there who are looking for a decent guy.
Rebounding can definitely be tough. I've had some experiences, where the women are not quite what you're looking to rebound with. And I"ve had some friends who have some true psycho stories. Point is, if a woman is single, there may be a good reason for it. None of us are perfect, but there are some real bad matches out there from what I've seen. Don't want to burst anyones bubble, and I'm sure there are some good experiences out there, but I find it pretty frustrating sometimes to actually meet someone of quality.
Rebounding
while its important to jump back in remember to do it feet first this time. Don't assume because the new girl is so much better that's the girl you want. I really reccomend dating more than one woman for awhile. At least long enough to witness how they act during that first special fight that should give you all the clues you need.
rebounding
Good point, if you find yourself in a position to get back in the game, try to spread yourself around a little bit. Might be tough to find the perfect one after one date, and you definitely will see that all women are different if you go out with a few of them. See how they handle adversity...they all are emotional time bombs, but some a lot worse than others. Sometimes circumstances don't allow it, e.g., when your friends know your single, they have a tendency to set you up with single women they know. Going out with numerous other chicks after they set you up with that "great girl" could cause problems. Be smart whatever you do.
As far as rebounding, it
As far as rebounding, it depends how long you've been out of the game. Since this is a divorce site, it can be assumed that some of the guys here have been on the shelf for a while. In order to get the confidence back, get out there and do whatever you can with whoever you can. Even if she's not a "long-termer", she's still good for practice. You have to take a couple of practice swings, don't waste them on the keepers. The good thing is that there are so many more venues out there to meet people, primarily through the net, that didn't exist even a few years ago, so rebounding is far easier than before. You're own personal experiences and issues may still be an issue, but the dating scene doesn't have to be. Sites like this one definitely help. It's good to have a sounding board to see what other people go through.
What you say is true, Steven,
What you say is true, Steven, there are so many more ways now to meet women than there used to be. You don't have to torture yourself in a bar, at the supermarket, or all the other cliche places anymore. There are so many places on the net, some of which are even linked on this site, where you can meet women. Some of them, like Ashley Madison, are like cheater sites, where you are likely to find sexual hookups. Some of the other ones, like E-Harmony, are geared more towards "normal", or at least more traditional type companions. But you can sit and browse from the comfort of home until you find one you are interested in. Granted, there are some psychos out there of both sexes, but overall, any woman on one of those sites is looking to meet someone, or she wouldn't be on it. So all the pressure isn't on you. Divorce sucks, I know that all too well, but life afterwards doesn't have to.
Back in the game
After the breakup of my ten year marriage I mourned for about a month and then got right back into the dating scene. Luckily I have a few single friends around my age who I started bouncing with. First they took me to pick up bars which basically led to a series of one night stands. The one nighters are good for your confidence you can have some fun without dealing with the complications of a relationship. I did this for about a year and then began to go on real dates with women I thought were relationship material. I've met a few very nice girls and continue to date although nothing serious has developed. I'm generally happy now and hope eventually to meet someone in a steady relationship. Life does go on after divorce and there are many women out there who are looking for a decent guy.
Rebounding can definitely be
Rebounding can definitely be tough. I've had some experiences, where the women are not quite what you're looking to rebound with. And I"ve had some friends who have some true psycho stories. Point is, if a woman is single, there may be a good reason for it. None of us are perfect, but there are some real bad matches out there from what I've seen. Don't want to burst anyones bubble, and I'm sure there are some good experiences out there, but I find it pretty frustrating sometimes to actually meet someone of quality.